Feed on

I just ran a whole bunch of errands tonight in lieu of a training ride. I had a lot of stops to make, a lot of junk to haul, and I added on a few scenic detours to rack up a little extra mileage and make more of a workout of the venture. I figured I could hit two birds with one stone; get some shit done and put on a few more pre-Kanza miles.

I had plans to go on the Blue Moose ride tomorrow, but quite frankly, don’t wanna! Tonight’s ride will have basically accomplished what tomorrow’s would have and allowed me to knock off some of the crap I’d otherwise have to do on the weekend. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not a big fan of club rides as a whole. Some group rides are big fun…if it’s a small group that has a good dynamic and doesn’t go on the same loop every single freakin’ ride. I’m working on getting together a riding group (probably for Saturday mornings) of a bunch of local women who haven’t quite found a road group they clicked with. Hopefully we will all “click” and can get in a good, regular ride and have some fun.

The normal “club ride” thing, though, is just not my flavor.

More in tune with what *I* like was what went down this past weekend and what’s coming up this weekend. This past weekend was the 834th Annual Tour De Cowtown and it was, as it has been in years past, a big freakin’ hoot. The format of the ride is a scavenger-hunt. In the past riders have been asked to fill out a quiz based on specifics of various locales or bring back certain items. This year, Sarah & Christi took a page out of Forrester’s book and had participants go around to different manned checkpoints and get signatures (and undergo various minor ordeals at the hands of the checkpoint crews).

I LOVE ordeal-alleycats. The 6-6-6 race, which was one of Forrester’s and which was one of the most ridiculously fun events I’ve yet to experience, was an ordeal alleycat with checkpoints were we were made to eat hot-sauce, play mumpletypeg and drink tequila shots. At the Tour De Cowtown, we were variously pelted with water-balloons by an enthusiastic and mischievous 5-year-old, ordered to do yo-yo tricks, play matching games, and answer riddles. To make things even more tricky, the list of stops was more than anybody on a bike could cover in 2 hours (the time limit we were given) and 3 of the 11 stops actually didn’t exist!

I was frankly delighted when I hit one of the red-herring stops. 5519 Pennsylvania doesn’t exist! I got on down to 55th & Pennsylvania, but none of the houses on that little stretch are numbered to the Pennsylvania side…they’re all either W. 55th Ter. or W 60th St., depending. I jokingly raised a fist to the air and said in a “Kaaaaaaahn” voice, “Curse you Sarah!” and rode on. When I got back I learned that any rider who whined about hitting red-herring stops was given a pacifier. Jonesey had one, and he kept absent-mindedly suckling and nibbling at it which was disturbing to say the very least. Jones is about 6’5″ and spidery and is currently working a shaggy 1970s haircut and a Borat moustache.

The party had begun before the ride and boy did it carry on afterward. They had a couple of bands, a bar-b-que, and a portable fire-pit. Plenty of beer and ice-cold water, too. The guy who won had been fussing endlessly with his seat before the ride…I think he broke the clamp. He was drunk then, and even drunker by the time he rolled in. He had actually barfed all over himself at some point when he was out riding. He apparently got some bonus points for the puke. He won a Columbus cycling hat with brass horns riveted to it. (I wish I’d had the presence of mind to take a picture!) The horns were table-leg end caps that Christi and I had pulled out of a dumpster some months ago. I think she’s got a couple more still hanging around. I remember back when we found them, thinking that it would be cool to rig them up to a helmet for horns. I guess depraved minds think alike. I didn’t know the girl who won the ladies’ prize (a gigantic pinwheel made out of bike parts), but I heartily congratulated her. That thing is hella cool, and I hope she displays it proudly!

I had the presence of mind to shoot a video of the pinwheel in action on the morning of the Swap Meet.

I’ll be writing more about my other weekend activities in just a bit, but I wanted to take a moment to big up the next upcoming event. ChrisGo & Joins/Jonsey/Jones are teaming up to present:

Go Jones Racing Rim Race is this coming weekend!
From the man himself:

Six days and counting until the greatest alleycat race of the week takes place. Saturday, May 24, 5 pm at Acme Bikes downtown KCMO.

There is an alleycat style race which is fun for all and to top that off we will be having rim races. That’s right, racing on your rims, no tires and no tubes, asphalt meats metal. I suggest you find rims or a bike your not to attached to, there is a good chance that you will destroy both.

You don’t have to race on your rims, but I think you should.

Tons of cool prizes. There is a great chance you will go home with something, and no doubt it will be something cool.

Prizes from; Swobo, Yanco Pads, Volker Bicycles, Surly, ReLoad, Banjo Brothers, Car R Coffins, Urban Velo, and beer from Buzzard Beach!
The alleycat is $3, t-shirts are $10 and the rim races are free!

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