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A disclaimer:

Disclaimer: I’m an online journaller. I have no shame.

That being said, sometimes I wish real life was more like D&D. Not so much with the slaying trolls and stealing treasure from dragons and being surrounded by prancy elves with longbows, but more in the realms of practical, useful magic, like teleport spells and bags of holding. Right now I wish I had a bag of holding. Would have made toting that packaged up wedding dress a lot easier this morning. And I would certainly appreciate the utility of having a bottomless sack of lemons to pelt at people who say “when life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” I’d be winding up like the world’s wimpiest Major-League pitcher, hollering “squeeze this, Pollyanna!”

I’m really coming to hate aphorisms, especially those “chicken-soupy,” glurgey ones, like the aforementioned lemon one. This is frequently spouted by people who order you to “smile, it can’t be that bad.” Sometimes a person gets stressed or has something serious on her mind, or is really, really tired, or is mad, or just doesn’t feel like grinning ear-to-ear like a fool. What is so terrible about a neutral, resting expression, anyway? I can be in a mad, foul mood, but not share the lack of joy, so long as nobody goes tapping me for joy. If I can just sit and stew and work out my problems, I will be okay, but when people have to meddle and pester, then I quickly lose my equanimity. Yeah, the life of a front-desk office stooge is wearing thin today. The inanity of it all has broken down my capacity for handling repetition, rudeness, banality, ringing phones, cranky co-workers, and pushy customers. I need a vacation in the worst way, but I am trying to save my time so Todd and I can have a proper vacation in the fall to visit his aunt and uncle in the ATL. Thank goodness we have a three-day weekend coming up.

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