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“L” is for “Lalochezia”

This entry was brought to you by Alphabytes and the letter “L.”

Lalochezia is my new favorite word. It means “swearing to relive stress.” I do this all the time, and I had no idea it had a formal, not to mention euphonious term. Lalochezia! If you didn’t click the link above, you do say it with a short a , as in “laugh.” Lah-loh-kee-zee-uh! Off topic, I need to figure out how to get phenetical symbols like the schwa-sound to come out in HTML. Anyone more savvy than me, who reads this mess, feel free to give me a tip on how to get special characters like umlauts, schwa-sounds, and medieval characters like eth, ash, thorn, and wen.

Back on the topic of foul language Buffy’s Swear-board is ten tons of puerile good fun. Try it out. Type “A” a lot. Arse! Arse! Arse! I feel like Father Jack from the TV comedy Father Ted. Ooooh, and check it out, more Father Ted fun…sound-bites!

I cuss a lot. Probably too much, but I do seem to have a lot of frustration and tension and stress to work off, due to my “career” as a municipal telephone jockey. Since I have to make like I’m all sweetness and light and propriety all day, when I get off work, or at least away from the phone, my language turns a mite peppery. I started cussing back in high-school, right around the same time I started biting my fingernails, which is another anxiety thing, I think.

Oh, and I don’t “swear” or “curse” or “use profanity.” I cuss, or if I am feeling ritzy about it, I will indulge in foul language. To me, “cuss” is a lot more evocative word. It brings forth images of Donald Duck gibbering in rage and tearing the hell out of a room, Yosemite Sam muttering ferociously and shooting the shit out of random objects, and Mark Twain’s immortal bluejay having a fit when he lost all those acorns down the hole in the cabin roof. When I’m cussing, my linguistic axe-head is flying off the handle, and I’m delving into those depths of my lexicon that aren’t supposed to see the light of day in polite company. “Swearing” sounds too solemn, “profane language” carries some religious baggage, and “spouting obscenities” makes me think of some kind of pervy Tourette’s outburst. Cursing would be great, if an actual curse were involved, but I don’t believe that I am wishing somebody to hell when I say “damn his oily hide,” and while I would be glad to curse a few people with things like chronic ingrown-toenails or Kylie Minogue songs on infinite repeat in their subconscious, I don’t believe in literal cursing. Cussing, however, is something I can get behind. Yeah, you can beat me with the Etymology Stick and pedantically remind me that “cussing” is just a colloquial, regional derivation from “cursing,” but I maintain that cussing and cursing are totally separate things. To me, “cursing” sounds cursed with gentility—the sort of ersatz vehemence that results in exclamations like “H. E. double-fiddlesticks.” You really wanna blow it all out, but you’re just too chickenshit. Cussing, however, is when you’re to the point where you don’t give a fuck, and you’re willing to sacrifice plausibility, logic, and social acceptability for a good rhythm, peak offensive content, and sheer enthusiasm. A fluent, vehement string of cusswords can be the best pressure relief valve every invented for managing human bad temper.

Don’t let any uptight dogfucking cocksucker ever tell you any damn thing different!

More pressure relief valves:
Let Cornholio help you freak out.
Foamy is good at letting it all out, too. Damn, that little squirrel’s a fucking asshole.
I can get behind this little Gerbil’s meditative stylings I, too, will never be your assmonkey.

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