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I'd been planning to go as Cyndi Lauper for Halloween, then I cut my hair off again. I could mock up a wig of some sort, I'm sure, but I've got a “concept costume” idea that I'm really strongly tempted to craft.

You've heard of Lares and Penates? The minor gods in patronage of mundane things. Like pixies, patron saints, and the God of Lost Socks (and you know there is one…the Flying Spaghetti Monster would have it no other way). Well, I was thinking of going as the Flatulence Fairy, a pixie of pooters, a minor goddess of gas. Why? Because I'm incredibly puerile and I had the coolest idea for a costume with hidden pockets for whoopee-cushions so that I could, at no notice, create appropriate sound-effects.

I have a cool idea for a brown, furry jumpsuit with a hood with antennae and a crest of brown tulle. The antennae-ends would be diaphanous fluffs of brown-dyed cotton wool. There would be an airy, billowing skirt of more of the brown netting, and a bendable wire tail with a big puff of either faux-fur, cotton, or tulle at the end, like a fancy poodle, only nastier. The whoopee cushions would be hidden under the skirt, most likely, and smacked violently whenever I needed a sound-effect.

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