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New Business Idea

Since I like breakin’ shit so much, I should go into the business of “distressing” furniture.

I’ve already got the name for my business in mind, “Pay me, and I’ll wreck your stuff.”

I could damage pretty much anything: doors, tables, cars, chandeliers, tureens, whatever. So long as you paid me. Or if you commissioned work, then didn’t pay me. Then, I’d break it even worse, gratis.

I ought to go write up a business plan. Given my talents in this direction, enthusiasm, and astonishing powers of self-promotion, I should be raking in the $$$ at any moment.

2 Responses to “New Business Idea”

  1. Kate says:

    When I was little, I stumbled upon my dad “distressing” some piece of furniture he had JUST purchased. I was…pretty confused. Hard to explain that to a kid, without them then bashing everything.

  2. meetzorp says:

    Hehe. I bet that looked like top-notch fun to a kid.

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