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I’ve been vaguely under the weather this past week. Snotly, wimpy, and excessively sweaty. Not sure if it was just some sort of crazy hay-fever or a very feeble summer cold, but I’m over the worst of the foulness. At least I don’t feel totally wimpy anymore, though I am still in possession of a surplus of snot.

That’s okay, though, because I have totally felt like spitting a lot lately, which is completely disgusting, unsanitary, and socially unacceptable. And I do it anyway, while cycling to and from work. I figure I’m only gobbing in the roadway, so it’s not like someone’s going to walk through it. I also look out so that I don’t accidentally hack a loogie on a passerby or anybody’s car.

It’s a truly loathsome habit, and not one I indulge in frequently, but when I’m really snotly and riding my bike, I can’t exactly whip out a hankie and deal with things in a civilized fashion.

And I’m really, really good at spitting. I go for distance with my loogies. I mean, when you’re hacking up horrible wads of phlegm, you want them to go as far away from you as possible, so you might as well make it a personal challenge. I like to see if I can “ptooi” them across the center line at least.

Look, I don’t have many mad skills, so I have to make the most of the few I’ve got.

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