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So, I was thinking some more about vampires, and thinking of all the psychotic vamps portrayed in literature, film, and TV, and thinking, so, what makes a vampire go crazy?

Isolation? Feeding off one's parent species? Nigh imortality and no goals to fill it with? Eeeeenormous ears, curving tusks, and the persistent reek of cabbage (see JTHM #7, “Before The Sun Rises” with Eric the Vampire)?

Me, I think they're driven slowly and steadily insane by their persistent inability to go to matinee movies. Superhuman powers, indefinitely-prolonged lives, nifty gothic wardrobes, yet they're stuck ponying up $9 for the after-dark showings of any and all first-run movies, while us mere mortals can get into the $6 matinee and still have time to catch dinner before the bloodsuckers are prowling.

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