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I’ve been considering earworms just lately, because I’ve had one or another of them stuck in my head constantly for the past two weeks or so. It started with Morning Coffee, a sweet, wistful, decade-old Japanese bubblegum pop hit from the first incarnation of the wildly popular and enduring Morning Musume. The song is all about a young couple’s recently intensifying love affair, with implications that the girl has been invited to stay the night with her boyfriend, though she is reluctant to do so for several reasons (embarrassment, curfew, nervousness). “I dare not waiting upon I would,” you know?

Anyway, this sweet little song about a girl who is conflicted about the pace of her romance has been usurped by Sarah Silverman’s raunchy ditty about doin’ the business with Matt Damon (with no conflict or hesitation at all!). Actually, Matt Damon’s refrain about “on the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door” is the bit that’s been the most mentally intrusive. He’s such a dweeby looking fellow, too, with his little duck’s butt flip of hair above his forehead. It’s that much funnier when a guy who gives every impression of being an utter milquetoast sings dirty lyrics. It’s sorta like Bob Saget going off in The Aristocrats. Audiences had long been accustomed to his genial, family-friendly persona from America’s Funniest Home Crotch Shots Videos and his bumbling nice-guy father-figure from Full House that seeing him in the context of telling the filthiest joke ever told made that joke all the more hilarious.

The response from Silverman’s boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel wasn’t as much fun musically, but was much better visually. He had a lot of big name actors and celebs in on the gag and everybody was obviously having a gigantic laugh about it. I totally missed that the Fed Ex guy was Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt, if you didn’t know, basically rocks. I’m not saying that because I think he’s good looking or admire his public persona or anything like that. I’m saying that because I genuinely admire his acting talent. He’s played a hell of a lot of disparate and peculiar roles over the past decade and a half or so, and doesn’t really have a “type” anymore. He started out with this kind of playboy heartthrob image, from which I think he started to break away when he played the madman-savant in 12 Monkeys. Anyhow, I think it’s a tiny testament to his talent that he could “hide” in the incidental FedEx Guy role in this video. He plays his roles and plays them well, and for that I think he rocks.

Anyway, I hope that by having written this nuttiness, I will get Silverman & Damon’s song out of my head. And Morning Musume’s, too. I’m heartily sick of both songs.

I should be careful what I wish for. I wrote up this little rant on Friday afternoon. On Friday night, Timo brought out his boombox-equipped Tallbike and introduced a fresj earworm into my poor brain. You Give Love A Bad Name Ah Bonjovi, the heartthrob of my junior-high days. Would you please get the hell out of my mind? Thanks!

5 Responses to “Earworms!”

  1. Jeff says:

    Since seeing Triumph the Insult Comic Dog sing, “You Give Poop a Bad Name” with BonJovi, I can’t hear it any other way.

  2. meetzorp says:

    Humm…that’s a new one on me. But I can believe it. Triumph was the rubber Rottweiler who said that everything in the world was for him to poop on, right?

  3. meetzorp says:

    Oh. My. God! Jeff, that was freakin’ hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

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