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“Seriously, I am not joking. If I had the money, this is the tattoo I would get. On my arm, right here, I’d get a life-sized corndog. With a bite taken out of it. And there would be a GIANT silverfish crawling out of the bite.” – Justin E.

“Can you make me a hat…out of thish necktie?” – Jeff (very, very drunk)

“Avast, landlubber! Thanks fer waitin’ fer our merry band o’ scallywags” – one of the riders directing traffic to a motorist

“Dude, I am so ready to buckle some swash!” – me

There were also pirate jokes. Bad pirate jokes.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attatched to the fly of his pants. The bartender notices and remarks, “You seem to have a steering wheel attatched to the fly of your pants.” The pirate replies, “Aye, it’s driving me nuts!”

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite carnival ride?
A: The bumper cAAAARRRRs.

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite musical instrument?
A: The guitARRRR!

So why was there all this talk about swashbuckling, landlubbers, and piratical punning? Because last night was the last friday of the month, hence Critical mass. Because Talk Like A Pirate Day is in September, it seemed logical to carry the gallivanting scallywag spirit on for one more night. My pictures from the night can be found here. Other pictures can be found on the Kansas City Critical Mass myspace page.

So here are a few pre-ride highlights. Have fun on my flickr page, and please come out and ride if you’re local next month. Halloween costumes will be the order of the day and highly encouraged.

Justin, the man who would sport a corndog/silverfish tattoo if money were no object.

Do I look dashing in my new moustache?

Happiest pirate in all the seven seas.

What can I say that this picture hasn’t already?

The Dread Pirate Amy!

Watch out everyone. Victor has a sword and a hook.

Paul reveals the hidden treasure.

Borat or Cap’n Neckbeard?

Brian is a pirate. With cool boots!

Andy arrives in high style.

Jarod’s pig walks the plank.

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