"If you can't be pretty, you might as well cause trouble" – Florence King
Posted in biking, Distractions, Loss & Grief & A Hole In My Soul, Notions and Rants on May 30th, 2017
What is your blade? What is your red-hot match head? What mortifies your flesh to alleviate your spirit?
What reinforces your humanity in all its profanity?
Posted in Distractions, dumb things I have done, grumbles gripes and pointless bitching, Loss & Grief & A Hole In My Soul, Notions and Rants, Oh, for fuck's sake on Jun 7th, 2016
Maybe what I am saying is that I should start taking the struggles for granted and when the smooth patches heave into view, I should land ’em like a victorious pirate captain, plant my flag, and celebrate like I have commandeered the finest shipment of Good Times on the high seas.
Posted in Family, Joel Dyke, Loss & Grief & A Hole In My Soul on May 6th, 2016
The pop culture vision of senile dementia is the doddering eccentric, who calls her grandkids by the wrong name, makes non-sequitur commentary whenever it’s devastatingly funny to do so, and genially bungles her way through the “golden years.” The reality is that dementia sneaks up on a person and can turn a person who was […]
Posted in Joel Dyke, Loss & Grief & A Hole In My Soul on Jan 2nd, 2016
When I look at pictures of Joel and see his trademark big grin shining back at me, the merriment in his eye – all evidence of his legendary bonhomie, I can’t help but be minded of John Crowe Ransom’s “Bells for John Whiteside’s Daughter.†That poem is especially poignant as it is a memorial for […]
Posted in Loss & Grief & A Hole In My Soul on Dec 28th, 2015
I sit here wearing two sweaters, a beanie, corduroy trousers, woolen socks, desperate to stave off the cold.  Never mind the thermostat is set on a very reasonable 63° Fahrenheit.  It’s not a literal chill, as such, it’s something that sets upon me when I’m sad, lonesome, tired, facing another bedtime alone.  It’s the chill that […]
Posted in Joel Dyke, Loss & Grief & A Hole In My Soul, Solo Parenting on Dec 17th, 2015
The one year anniversary of Joel’s death is closing in upon me, and I am frankly starting to panic. It feels like it’s happening too fast, like an avalanche. I feel like a cartoon mouse trying to dig in its heels and stop a speeding train. It’s irrational and foolish; it’s a feeling, but I’m […]