Feed on

Saturday, July 14, 2012, I was up and at ’em at the crack of 7:00 a.m. By golly, I had shit to do, and a finite amount of time in which to do it.

I had provisions to lay in, prizes to prepare, and most importantly, I needed to go scavenge up a few more inner tubes and strap down another whole layer of bottles to the underside of The Majestic Bastard, my newest, and most dubious raft.

This is the business side of The Majestic Bastard in all of its majisticitudinousnessness. This is five large trash bags of mostly soda bottles, a bit of scrap lumber, three rolls of duct tape and about 20 old bicycle inner tubes.

So anyway, I was up betimes on a Saturday morning, runnin’ an’ gunnin’. Garden watered, breakfast made and eaten, Joel and I set off to Midtown where he had Tai Chi class and I had an important appointment at Sunfresh grocery store. Yeah, we needed regular food for at the house, but I also needed supplies. Supplies like store brand potato chips and a box of Franzia, the liquid of pure, sneaky insanity.

After the grocery run, I thought I’d see if I could beg a few stray innertubes from Tim. He broke off from his session of coffee-drinking and contemplating to bring me down a beautiful wreath of decommissioned inner tubes. Aaaalll right! Business time.

I left Tim with a can of delightful Izze carbonated pomegranate juice and hightailed it for the Hill, so I could get the wine chilled and the boat completed.

Minnie helped.

Joel arrived home from class just as I was tying off the very last inner tube. The plan was lunch, short nap, and then hitch up and roll out. We strapped paddles, life vests, snacks, and prizes to the underside of our rafts, lashed the head end of the rafts to the package racks on our bikes, and rolled down the hill toward what used to be Korruption in the West Bottoms.

My rig
This is the same towing set up I used this year, but the craft you see above was my 2010 rig.

Anyway, we wobbled and lurched our way down the hill and pulled up in front of the old Korruption building. One of the tenants drove up about the same time and wondered what sort of rolling insanity had just drawn upon his doorstep. He said so long as we weren’t starting a commune on his stoop, it was cool. So, we made no long-range plans, and all was well.

Next, appeared the always-interesting Calvert on a rather classy old Motobecane. One would expect nothing less of Mr. Guthrie.

Twice, a fantastic early 1990s Jeep Cherokee drove past, with two excellent bicycles on the front of it – one a vintage Fisher mountain bike, the other a cute, be-basketed lady’s cruiser. This turned out to be Tim and Teri, who were looking to ride along on the spectator’s route!. Sweet! We were just pleased to bits and pieces to see them. They drove on to Kaw Point where the lot of us were soon met by Christi and the up-for-anything 3:00 ride. They graciously led the newcomers along a merry riverside chase, spectated with might and main, and heckled us with a right good will. Tell ya what, I reckon there’s something for everyone out there!

Then Liz purred up on her stylish motorcycle, just ahead of Jaclyn and Matt, who were following with their tri-pontoon trashboat in the back of Matt’s pickup. They were unable to fashion a satisfactory towing rig for their boat, but honestly, they built a dang boat, so I wasn’t prepared to be picky. Jaclyn is rightly a big fan of the Chunk666 and Rat Patrol efforts toward junkyard aquatics and was adorably, squeefully thrilled to be participating in the Regatta.

I’d had word from Corinna that they’d had some technical issues with their towing rig, as well, and that they’d just meet us down at Kaw Point.
Here you see the Detour in the parking lot of Kaw Point.

The main tragedy of the day was the sad and untimely demise of Trailer Brian’s back wheel.

Technical issues were the words of the day for Project Detour, though travails and a capsizing didn’t dampen the spirits of its mighty crüüe.

You know, it took them a long-ass time to get down to the launch, to get put in, to get their cargo strapped on and their crew aboard, but by gosh and by golly, they made it to Glow In The Dark Park, and not more than 5 minutes after the rest of us. Their 7-person crew were all pretty handy with their oars, and landed the Detour in much finer style than they launched her.

Thereafter, Jaclyn and Matt’s raft was converted into an impromptu picnic table and the snacks that I brought, along with quite a spread courtesy of Corinna & Rod were laid out and enjoyed.

Jaclyn and I have been chatting about putting on another Regatta in early September, after more of the art students are back in town. She’s a lot better PR woman than I am, and in a better position to rouse other like-minded maniacs out of the woodwork. So, keep a watch on this space for future news and partial entertainment.

Soooo…I don’t know how many words I’ve expended, but as the old saying goes, pictures are more eloquent, so here are mine, and here are Liz’s. Henjoy.

2 Responses to “Trashboat Regatta 2012 – the thinking slacker’s boat race.”

  1. Rod McBride says:

    I don’t know if we were a mighty crüüe, but we were a motley crew.

  2. Corinna says:

    I found a bike pump at the event. If anyone lost one, message me to identify. Great event!

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