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This year, I psyched myself out of riding the Dirty Kanza, but since I already had the vacation time approved and I enjoy the whole Dirty Kanza scene, I decided to go along this year as a volunteer and make myself helpful in some way or another.

When we got to Emporia, things were already at a fine simmer. Matt & Stephanie Brown of High Gear had received a shipment of prizes from Salsa, the event’s bigtime sponsor. They had also graciously agreed to store some of the other event equipment and paperwork. They’d done a lot of press for the event, too. DK200 and DKLite flyers were in prominent evidence in the shop and all around town in places cyclists were likely to hang around. Tim and Kristi Mohn had been busting butt, too! Tim’s a perennial DK200 contender and a big advocate for the event and Kristi, with her amazing organizational skills and community networking, helped turn this year’s event into a true all-day-and-into-the-night festival. In a surprise publicity opportunity, Kristi, Tim, Joel and Jim (via cell-phone in Jim’s case) even appeared on a local radio program to talk about the event.

We invaded Tim’s music shop early on Friday morning, taking over one of the rehearsal rooms and filling it with enthusiastic members of the Kansas City Jeep Club, who’d been invited by Jim to mark the course this year. Not only did they do a bang-up job marking and cleaning up the course, they were out and about to provide emergency water or even a ride to a few riders who found themselves out of energy and out of cell-phone range. Besides helping us out enormously, the Jeep Club folks were total fun personified. They seemed to be having themselves a whale of a good time, and sharing the joy. I sure hope to see them again next year. Nothing beats folks who’re into getting out and about and having a good time.

Part of the fun, for me as a volunteer, was being absolutely surrounded by people who are into getting out and about and having a good time. A tall, blonde, bubbly lady from Texas, whose name I never did catch, but who I remembered from last year was on the scene to help out her friends once again. She cheered on and encouraged every rider who came within hollerin’ range, and really exemplified the “support crew” spirit.

Speaking of a cheering section, #65, Ben Doom’s kids kicked up what had to be the most heartwarming whoops of the evening. Popping up and down like a couple of pistons, they chanted “Daddy! Daddy! Yay! Daddy!” as their father rolled across the finish.
IMG_2901

I’ve always got a lot of respect for people who don’t take themselves too seriously:
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This resourceful gentleman re-purposed a child’s backpack to hold his food and maps. Third star to the right, straight on ’til morning.

Oozing blood and checking his injuries, Dennis Grelk prepares to leave from Checkpoint 1.
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Early on in the race (around Mile 20) Troy Krause (8th place finisher) ran afoul of a nasty rut in the road and crashed. Dennis, close on his trail, found himself riding over Troy’s bike and being flung ass-over-teakettle down to the rocky Flint-Hills ground. He pulled out at Check 2, and went back to town for some stitches. Busterized and exhausted, he still managed to crack wise about his injuries.

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Even more impressive was Troy Krause’s blazing 8th place finish on a field-trued front wheel (read: beat heartily against the ground until it would clear the brake caliper). With his tattered jersey safety-pinned back together, road-rash and a fine crust of sweat and Kansas turf coating him from head to toe, he came in smiling nonetheless.

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Lance Andre, a moustachioed enduro-star hailing from Florida rolled in at second place to much whooping and jubilation. His amiable father and shaggy red dog were notable support-crew at each checkpoint. Shortly after Mr. Andre wrapped up his share of the DK200, he started to suffer severe cramps and dehydration and ended up going to the hospital. It was crazy hot, muggy, and he had been pushing it really hard all day. Another rider, not so fortunate as Andre, went to the hospital from Checkpoint 2 suffering similar symptoms. It’s just about impossible to take in too much fluid or too many electrolytes in an event like this.

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Grant Castle, one of my rescuers last year, rolled into Council Grove sporting his trademark crystalline glaze. Grant is one salty dawg!
Grant's hat tells the story of a LOT of sweatin' going on.
I ain’t joking about the need to hydrate and replace electrolytes. This is something I particularly have to pay attention to…when it gets hot and I’m riding hard, I have a hard time drinking anything but water, so I have been training myself to remember to eat a Shot Blok or similar every so often to try to maintain a bit of internal balance.

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The “Sofa King” is the bicycle of Ellie Thallheimer, second place finisher in the Women’s Open class, and also recipient of the David Pals award (more info on that in a minute). I was working at Checkpoint 2 at the time and thought her bike was really cool, so I asked her if I could take a picture of it while she took a breather and a drink of cold water. Little did I know I was in the presence of (very cute) greatness.

At 4:11 a.m., Sunday June 6, smiling Ellie Thallheimer crossed the finish line to take second place in the women’s open class. When notified by Joel of her ranking and also of her prize package of Swiftwick products, she asked with incredulity, “I get prizes?!” She was just tickled to bits to have finished the whole race. Everything else was just a cherry on top.
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Her cheerful attitude and dedication netted her the first annual David Pals award, a gorgeous print of one of Eric Benjamin (The Adventure Monkey)’s iconic photos of the glorious Flint Hills.

The David Pals award was a sort of bonus prize idea that Joel had brainstormed up this past winter. David Pals is a Dirty Kanza regular with three finishes behind him, and you hardly ever see the guy without a big ol’ grin. He’s one of the brains behind the ultra-epic Trans Iowa. The idea of the award was to recognize a rider who just had a great attitude through the whole ordeal. A person who seemed to have a good time, to epitomize good sportsmaship, and to just be spreading the good cheer. The volunteers were advised to take notes on riders who seemed to be having a particularly good time or who just had a fun attitude.

It was a total bummer not to see David this year, but he and his kids were sidelined with the flu, so, as many of us were saying, “there’s always next year.”

Singlespeed podium
The whole field of Singlespeeders could have qualified. If ever there were humans dedicated to having a good damn time doing things the hard way, it’s single-speed cyclists.

I do believe it was a single-speeder who told the best story of the whole weekend. At Check 2, there was a Sinclair station at the top of the hill about a block away from the park where we were set up. I saw a rider pull in to the convenience store up there and thought he might be mis-directed. About 20 minutes later, he rolled down to our stop, chuggin’ a 24-oz Bud Lite and steering with one hand.

“Put me down as DNF,” he said and bee-lined for shade.

After a spell of shade-sitting and beer-sipping he came over to the tent where we were working and shared his story of beating the Kansas summer heat. The Flint Hills are rife with small streams, low-water crossings, ponds, and seeps. He said he’d reached that point of overheating where you start getting tunnel vision; the “bonk” was fast upon him. He espied a convenient creek, and without thinking twice, set his bike down on the bank and laid himself out in the water. He said he laid around in the creek so long that the minnows got used to him and began to forage around in his leg hair in case there was something tasty hidden in there. Apparently, a tadpole stalked him while he cooled down. He said every time he looked to the right to check on the crawdad situation along the banks (there were many of the little monsters) this tadpole seemed to have edged closer and closer to his head. I suppose it was drawn to his body-heat. Even though the fellow didn’t finish, I reckon he deserves some style points for both the crick-waller and the beer.

Probably the next-best story came from the first-place Women’s finisher Emily Brook
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I’d heard about the situation first from one of the riders who’d come upon the scene, then from her own account at the finish, and also in her blog. She’d gotten a flat along the way and had found herself a semi-shady spot to fix it. While she was changing the tire, a couple of other racers happened by and offered help, but she told them she had it covered. However, they unintentionally gave her a big hand by shooing off a bevvy of curious free-range cattle who had been incrementally closing in on her while she worked and making her a little leery by their sheer size and lumbering bovinity. Also, a friend of hers had been knocked cockeyed by a runaway steer the year before and so she had borne his story in mind as she began to cross the paths of open-range cattle.

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I can’t sign off without giving props to Corey “Cornbread” Godfrey, the 2010 Dirty Kanza 200 winner. He puts a lot of hard work into his fun, and it pays off. Every picture I’ve seen of him from this weekend shows the same face; exhausted and euphoric, glad to be where he was when he was there. I remembered him from ’08, when he had an amazing eight flat tires. This is not a man who is easily discouraged!

Here’s some more stuff I have made recently, with some more to come.

I did a big closet-and-drawer cleanout at the end of winter and got rid of a bunch of stuff that I just don’t wear anymore. Things that never were quite right, or things that weren’t right anymore. My wardrobe has traditionally been a repository for hand-me-downs, stray clothes, and thrift-shop impulse purchases and as such didn’t always function too sensibly. So I started taking active notice of the clothes that I wore the most and determined to either make or thrift-shop for other similar articles that would be more useful for me.

I had two cream colored tops that I found myself wearing ALL the time.
thrift scores 120
This one is a linen net with tucking and lace applique trim.
thrift scores 115
The other is a lace cross-over top with a built in lining and 3/4 sleeves.

The lace top, however, is WAY too warm for my office, so every time I wear it to work, I end up sweating and miserable. The linen one has really scratchy lace around the neckline and sleeves and so I always end up with very irritated skin, especially when it is at all warm out.

So I determined that cream colored tops were in order since these two, drawbacks notwithstanding, saw so much wear.

I also happened to be in possession of about half a bolt of cream-colored tone-on-tone floral print knit fabric, several different patterns for knit pullover tops, and a fair amount of spare time. The following is what came of it:

Simplicity 9974 View 2
This is that drawstring-neck tee that I’m so crazy about. Easy-peasy and you can let the neckline in and out at will. I was fortunate to have a random bit of cream floral ribbon on hand that is a perfect match.

Simplicity 4020 View E (Front)
Kimono-inspired crossover top – I’ve since trimmed the excess fabric away from the facings.

Simplicity "Grooves" 9592 (Front)
Sort of a peasant-blousey affair. I didn’t realize it when I made it, but my shoulders are a little too wide for this pattern, so it is always slightly off-the-shoulder. It turned out a little sexier than I planned, but not too scandalous.

New Look 6730 modified (Front)
Regular ol’ v-neck tee. Another one that has since enjoyed a significant facing trim-down.

Simplicty "Grooves" 8869 (front) View D
3/4 sleeve shirt with overlapping shoulder seams. This one was suuuuper easy to put together and I’m making another one in magenta.

I’ve got a couple of pair of Talbot’s pants that I like.
Talbot's Ultrasuede cargos
A pair of Ultrasuede cargo pants that I got at the Junior League thrift shop.

Brown pants waistline detail
And these brushed-cotton trousers with button trim on the waistband from an unbelievably profitable dumpster-dive.

I realized that of all pants that I owned, these were the ones that were being worn all the time. So I cast about for a pattern that would reasonably replicate these two and found precisely what I wanted in one of the Simplicity Project Runway designs.

I made two pair:
Simplicity 2477 "Project Runway" (View C)
The first pair are just basic khaki office pants, but they have the buttoned belt-loops, and I found some rather pretty faux-tiger’s-eye buttons for them:
Simplicity 2477 "Project Runway" (View C)

Simplicity 2477 "Project Runway" (View E/F)
LEOPARD PRINT BUTTONS
The other pair are cargos with leopard print buttons.

They’re just basic office pants with a bit of a twist. On account of them being twill woven cotton pants fabric, they always look a bit rumply and bunchy but their main function is a sort of bluejeans simulacrum (basic butt-covering, goes with damn near anything) so I’m not too fussed about the smartness or tidiness of their overall appearance. I’m pleased with these patterns, though, and will certainly make them in better fabrics next time around.

I’ve got some other tops I’m working on, this time in actual colors. Plain, mostly ribbed knits in various solid colors. Look for them in an upcoming entry!

In the process of my wardrobe-cleanout, I realized that I really needed some solid color tops, since I wear print skirts a LOT. Most of my skirts are printed or patterned and generally look best with a fairly plain top. I’ve been trying to find some good tops in the thrift shops, but too much of the stuff is cap-sleeved which looks dreadful on me, or sleeveless which is not even in consideration, considering I’m not over punctilious about depiliation. So in order to get some plain tee-shirt-ish tops with actual short sleeves, I have gone back to my roots and gone back to my sewing machine. I’ve just finished two pink tops (one kind of coral, the other bubblegum) and am starting on a lemon yellow one. I have a couple of skirts that are going to look super cute with my new tops, and I’m looking forward to these upcoming wardrobe options.

On the outside

This is written partly in response to Jacquie Phelan’s recent musings about where women fit into the cycling industry, and partly because I sometimes kick ideas around about my own “place” in the two-wheeled underground.

I think part of the problem(s) that both Jacquie and Bike Hugger were addressing (1) (2) (3) stem from how very commodified cycling has become. You’re being sold a look, a niche, a lifestyle. You can be a rugged, outdoorsey moutain biker, a fleet, elite roadie, a hi-viz, nerdilicious commuter, a hardcore fixie hipster, or a quaint and ladylike city cyclist swooping along gracefully on an European Citybike. You can buy the identity, kit by kit, from a well-stocked LBS and become a demographic.

Then, there’s the fetish of commodity, and this is something I see pretty regularly from my own dirtbag-woman perspective. Cycling, in all its guises (even the twee euro-city-bike contingent) is still pretty male dominated. And a lot of guys who totally buy into the whole “lifestyle” want to date women who fit into that comprehensive picture. Lady cyclists (and we know who we are) become a bit of a “hot commodity” because we’re relatively rare. And because of how niche-marketed even bicycling has become, the selection narrows if the selector’s criteria are at all precise. Some MTB guys would rather masturbate eternally than date a roadie. And god forbid a hipster even look twice at a hi-viz nerd. If you fit handily into one of the archetypes, then you may find yourself beset with male attention that you may not have been looking for.

And the cycling industry seems to be trying to promote some sort of sexual insanity, like this CyclePassion thingy or Knog’s TaTU-like girlkissing campaign, playing into this male lust for hottt biker babes. I think it indirectly fosters the notion that girls on bikes are all vixens just waiting to bust out with their boobs and booties and Tawney Kitaen hair-tossing.

And if you don’t fit into one of the pre-sets, then a lot of folks just don’t know what to do with you.

I’ve ridden bikes with enthusiasm and regularity since I picked up the knack at about age 8. For the majority of my cycling life, I’ve ridden bikes that don’t make any good sense. A Schwinn Continental that was at least two sizes too big. A Huffy 10-speed mountain-bike-shaped abomination that I managed to wring six years service from. The Trek 800 that I’m still flogging along. This bike, I have dubbed “The Cadillac Of Old Shitty Mountain Bikes.”
The Cadillac of Old Shitty Mountain Bikes
It has been revived more times than a Gilbert & Sullivan musical.

I never dress right, and I’m always wearing those godawful boots:
ladylike

I recall the last time I rode the MS150, thinking that I could create a highly effective drinking game if I carried a flask and took a pull off it every time somebody asked me how in the hell I rode in those boots. (My usual answer is that I pedal).

I was riding down to Friz a couple of weeks ago, with the intention of playing a little bit of frisbee while riding a bicycle with a bunch of other friends who want to play frisbee while riding bicycles, too. I also had the intention of stopping by the grocery store afterwards ’cause the cupboards were getting a bit bare. So I was riding the old Trek abuse bike with my big red waterproof panniers which have almost certainly seen more grocery store action than touring action, coast-to-coast trip notwithstanding.

I was riding to midtown, and I’d been fighting my way up the hill Penn Valley Park on that heavy-assed Trek when this fellow on a road bike overtakes me, as well he should given the weight-and-performance disparity of our respective steeds. And I guess he was intrigued by my setup or insanity or lovely haircut or something ’cause he slowed down and proceeded to ride alongside of me and rhapsodize about the cycling lifestyle.

He said to me, “I can see that you’re a true cyclist.” This comment gave me pause and continues to churn around in my brain in a sort of dyspeptic fashion.

What in the everlasting hell is a “true cyclist?”

Moreover, is it that much of a part of my identity?

I kind of think that it isn’t. I mean biking is obviously a big part of my life; I ride nearly everywhere I go, but I don’t really think of myself as a “cyclist.” This may be a lame copout in the manner of women who are all “well, of course I think women should have like rights and stuff, but I’m not a feminist.” I’m not sure if this is analogous.

I just know that I’m pretty turned off by how niche-marketed cycling has become and don’t feel like any of the pre-set categories really comprise a comfortable fit for me. Advocacy annoys the shit out of me. I’m not hardcore enough for any kind of racing. I’m not willing to go out of my way to look cute while riding. I’m an irredeemably shitty (if enthusiastic) mountain biker. I just don’t put enough effort into doing anything right to do anything right (yay, solipsism!). I just ride a bike, try not to wreck too much, and get to where I’m going and have a little fun along the way.

By Michelle, age 32.

Khakis are a type of pants. They come in many styles and several colors ranging from almost white to dark olive green, but most of them are kind of tan. Khakis can be long or short or kind of middle-ish in length. Khakis like that are sometimes called Capris or Pedal Pushers or Floods. Or if you are a man, they can be called Shpants, also.

The life-cycle of khakis starts when they are new. They can come from a store, or they can be made out of mid-weight, tan, twill-woven cotton fabric. Khakis are new when nobody else has worn them yet. They can also be almost-new if they came from a thrift store, but nobody had worn them very much. That’s pretty close to the beginning of the life-cycle of khakis.

When khakis are new, they mostly look pretty good. Not usually great, but better than okay. They’re usually spotted in environments that are called “office casual” because they are casual pants that are okay for most offices.

One of the things about khaki pants is that you can wash them in a washing machine a lot. Most of the time they get clean pretty well, but sometimes they don’t really and after a while they start to always look kind of dirty. When they get to the point where they always look kind of dirty, they go into the next phase of their life cycle when they stop being seen at work and are pretty much only seen at home. If they’re not too bad, they might be worn to the store or something, but when they get even older and they always look filthy then they’ve reached the almost the end of their life cycle when they are only good to wear in the garden or garage. At this stage they have a lot of stains on them, like paint or grease or old gum or spaghetti sauce or blood. Maybe they have some holes in them too, but they haven’t quite gotten to the end of their life cycle.

The very last stage of the life cycle of khaki pants is when they just completely stop working. This can happen when the seat rips all the way across or maybe the zipper won’t stay up anymore or one of the legs falls off. Whenever it happens, you will definitely know because it is pretty easy to tell when a pair of khaki pants has died.
A pants emergency

When this happens, the life cycle of khaki pants has ended. If you want you can always start the cycle all over again with a new pair or an almost new pair.

I’ve been sewing a lot of knits lately (proof forthcoming in a future post) and it’s all been done without a hitch on my trusty old Singer 401A (best almost $20 I have ever spent in my entire life, ever).

I simply use ball-tip needles so as not to snag the delicate knit fabric. Otherwise my construction techniques don’t significantly vary from my handling of woven fabrics.

I almost always zig-zag finish the seam allowances on most of the stuff I make. A fabric has to be very firmly woven and not likely to fray before I’ll forgo this step.

Even the zipper is vintage!
On woven fabrics, it looks like this.

With knits, it ends up looking more like this:
Illustrating handling knits with a conventional sewing machine
I zig-zag the seam allowances to prevent runs/fraying. Then I press the piece with a damp cloth to minimize “lettuce edging” along stretchable edges of the fabric. On the straight grain, the seam allowance is bound much like it is on woven fabrics.

The pink piece you see above is a drawstring-neck tee-shirt…this will be the third one I’ve made from this pattern, a 1972 Simplicity that has been panning out very well for me.
1972 Simplicity #9974
Simplicity 9974 View 2 drawstring neckline tee front

I’ve never really had the urge to procure a serger.  They look too prone to temperamentality.  They seem high-maintenance, and I’m just not on board with that.  Plus, I really don’t want my seam allowances bound and trimmed.  I like to keep my seam allowances open for future alterations.  I like to be able to un-do mistakes to a certain degree.  If you screw up with a serger, say by catching another bit of the garment in the way of the seam, you’re completely screwed.  It’s stitched down and trimmed off.  No thank you!

Plus sergers seem to be a bit like fixed gear bicycles.  A lot of people who acquire either machine become evangelical about them and are inclined to get shirty with those who aren’t eager to “come into the fold.” I’ve been getting by very damn well, thank you, without either, and the few times I’ve given a fixed gear bicycle a go, it’s netted me nothing but awkward frustration (kind of like dating in high school). Since the way I’ve been doing things has been working out well for me, I reckon I’ll just keep on keepin’ on.

There’s a fashion/lifestyle magazine called Lucky which peddles $300 bluejeans and $900 spangled high-heeled sandals yet somehow purports to promote elegant, almost-zenlike simplicity…kind of like Dwell for the wardrobe. Any old how, I guess the implication is that you’re lucky if you can drop that kind of dough on the ephemera of fashion, but I prefer my own kind of sartorial luck.

Stray clothes.

I found a really great shirt on my way to work on Sunday on Central Ave./West 9th St. in the West Bottoms. It was just lying in the gutter, buttonless and filthy, but I liked the look of the print and colors and thought that if it cleaned up okay, I’d replace the buttons. It did, and I did, so here it is:
IMG_2684

Here’s a detail of the buttons. They probably date back to the early 1950s – they’re recycled from a much older blouse that was too shot to keep. But they seem to fit just perfectly on this 1970s blouse, and there were exactly the right number of buttons to retrofit this blouse, so it had to be serendipity, right?
I had the PERFECT buttons for this shirt

I realized today that I have enough stuff around to compose at least one outfit of clothing entirely found either on the street or in the trash. So here it is:
Scavenger Chic?
I have another pair of pants (full-length, brown, brushed-cotton office pants) that would have been better yet, but they were in the wash. They were from the same haul that netted these pedal pushers.

The head-scarf is something I found on the street in York on New Year’s Eve of 1999/2000, while walking home from a pretty awesome SciFi Club party out near the University. I found it within about a block of the Minster, half frozen in a puddle of slush. I’ve since taken the tag off it, but I recall that it proudly claimed composition of 80% silk, 20% “metallic fibre”. I usually wear it as a neck scarf or a belt, but it just seemed to suggest itself as a headband for this get-up.

Makin’ stuff (Part 1)

I’ve been on a real sewing binge lately, so here’s some of the stuff I have made:

front
Applique-decorated capri pants. (Front)
back
and back
IMG_2411
In action (with a shirt I made last winter)
McCall's M5633 (modified)
Gratuitous butt-shot.

These pants rock!
This is the other cool pair of pants I made. Yes, they are bell bottoms. They are also AWESOME.

Vogue V2907 (Alice + Olivia)
The rear view is the best part of these pants. The pockets are from another pattern. This one was drafted to have welt pockets, but I didn’t have the patience to make welt pockets – and I think these are better anyway.

I also made two pair of regular office pants. Khaki. One pair is cargo style, the other is just pants style. Boring. Not worth photographing, especially. The just-pants style ones have buttons holding down the belt loops and the cargo ones have leopard-print buttons, so they don’t totally spew boredom out into the world. Maybe I’ll photograph them when I photograph the shirts I recently made.

Coming soon, then…semi-boring office pants and a bunch of shirts made in different styles from the same pattern. Stay tuned…or something like that.

Hi, hi! I’m just lollygagging around tonight and trying a new approach to the abuse of GIF images. Don’t mind me. I’m sure I never do.

I have a favorite little animated GIF, a self-drawing rosette that I may end up using more again, if this embedding process looks any good. We shall see how that goes.

I have a habit of saving cute little GIFS whenever I find them, so I have some for any occasion. And some that aren’t so cute and aren’t good for any occasion, but I saved them anyway. For example, there is simply no excuse for this kind of thing.

It’s like, WTF, right?

Anyway, I will try not to be tooooo obnoxious with these little guys, but only add ’em in when a little bit of cute is appropriate.

Delusions of Adequacy

Home Despot inspires a particularly delirious delusional state in me.

I think it’s the fact that you can find pretty much everything there with which to make or destroy your average house and all of its accessory structures and miscellaneous appurtenances.

A few years ago, I required a crowbar, as one does.

So I hied myself hither to Home Depot to select the ideal iron bar for the job. After the crowbar was acquired, I decided to have a browse around, ’cause it’s a waste to go to Home Despot without leering at the spray paint, trying to find the most hideously ostentatious “chandelier,” considering the Garden Weasel, and pricing toilets.

I was sashaying about, crowbar in hand, enjoying its iron heft, and within minutes my brain had switched into mayhem mode, and I was daydreaming about the entertainment possibilities that could lie in just stomping around town, crowbar in hand, to see what people’s reactions would be.

Bear in mind that at the time of my crowbar acquisition, I tended to dress like a candy-raver on Casual Friday:
idiot-girl

I reckon I might have missed my calling in the arena of performance art. Obviously I need to go and seek a grant.

Correction:

I guess I only have one eyeshadow compact (lovely earthtone set from Covergirl) I used to have one for doing “smoky eyes” and I liked it a lot, but I accidentally dropped it in the toilet, and there’s no going back from there.

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